Cheap Simpsons’s Movie Tie-in

This is the latest marketing gimmick, and I love it! Go upload a picture of yourself and see what you’d look like as a Simpson’s character.

With thanks to Nunna Yerbeezwax for sharing the link. Go do it now!

And I love it!

We Watch: In TV Shocker, Bachelor Couple Will Not Marry After All

I, for one, did not see this coming. From People, the sad news that Lame Head Andy and Too Good For This Tessa are taking some time to evaluate their relationship, aka Step 1 in the Squeezing Out Two More Minutes of Fame Through a Gradual Public Break Up dance.

Best line in the People story: they’ve broken their engagement, but not their bond

That is so gag-me. How gag-me? Every proana site in the world now has this at the top of their thinspirations puking tips.

Also, nice angle on that photo of Tessa’s ass, ABC. I’m sure she offers thanks to you daily for making that the show’s final publicity shot while she surfs House of Thin and Starving for Perfection.

We Watch: Val Kilmer, (Real) Genius

No, I’m serious! Have you seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? While the writing helps, his performance is priceless. It’s hard to hold screen time with the riveting Robert Downey Jr., but Val does it. His timing is masterful.

Go back and rewatch The Doors. It’s a brilliant parody! Comedy on the Spinal Tap level. Remember his classic back-to-back Top roles: Ice in Top Gun and Nick Rivers in Top Secret! Then there is his Philip in Alexander. Maybe you disagree with some of the film maker’s decisions (yes, yes, Stone is a nutjob!) but you have to watch. Okay, maybe you just can’t look away, it’s practically the same thing.

Go to Netflix and queue up a personal Val Kilmer filmfest. Then come back and tell me I’m crazy.

On a personal note (speaking of crazy) about 15 years ago I took a writing class with an “older” lady. She was single, living in a loft, doing a TON of coke. Not that she ever offered it to me, no one does. She slept with Val while he was at Juilliard. She would tell anyone who would listen (mainly bartenders) that she was plenty willing to repeat the experience any time he was interested.

And yes, that’s a picture of him with Winona Ryder. I think it’s safe to say he still likes coke whores.

We Watch: Mad Men

You’re not watching Mad Men yet? Are you kidding me? We’re already on episode 5.Despite the fact that I don’t have cable, or a tv (or wireless: Luddite), I’m a devoted follower of AMC’s first dramatic series. On Sunday afternoon, I watch with my friend Matt and a medium sausage pizza in apartment 40F (the views!).

A pinch of David Lynch meets period drama, it’s the tale of an ad agency in 1960’s New York. The star of the show is executive Don Draper, he of tailored suits, shady past and groupies vying to steal his job. Smoke- and sex-filled, each scene is imbued with a lovely weirdness that is both compelling and terribly unsettling.

And the outfits are brilliant. In Vietnam I’m getting a tailor to make me the green dress, to the right. Minus the uncomfortable bullet bra.

We Watch: Batman Begins

For all of the obvious reasons:

• Christian Bale
• Creepy bat stuff
• Christian Bale
• He’s called the Dark Knight
• The League of Shadows
• The scene with the Batmobile when Bruce asks, “Does it come in black?”

Well, Bruce, I do. In fact, I just did.

We Watch: Harlan County USA

Last spring, I was on the Netflix four-at-a-time plan and I burned through my stash in about a week (note: SANE). Other than 1940’s screwball comedies and “woman’s pictures,” I clocked a lot of time with documentaries, and my favorite of the bunch was Harlan County, USA.

Barbara Kopple, who also directed American Dreams (about the Hormel Foods strike) and Shut Up and Sing (Dixie Chicks), spent her late 20’s in Harlan County, Kentucky, following miners who were on strike to protest unsafe working conditions, unfair labor practices and low wages.

Throughout the film, the crew is harassed by representatives from Duke Power (called “gun thugs”), who seem too evil to be real, leering out of their pick-up trucks to harass workers they house in shacks without electricity or water. The corrupt union, with a leader who was later convicted of murdering his rival and that man’s family, doesn’t have to workers best interest at heart, either.

The hero of this tale is spitfire Lois Scott, a miner’s wife (and miner’s daughter), who keeps a gun in her bra and convinces a group of women to protest with switches when the company wins an injunction to keep more than 6 (male) miners from picketing at one time.

It’s tragic, scary, funny, thoughtful, and you should see it. Like, today.