Your Killin’ Style

I was chatting with our friend Cheap Girl, and the topic of Colleen came up.

Cheap Girl: I’d take a bullet for her
Me: And she would shoot someone for you

Which got me to thinking. Would I take a bullet for anyone? Maybe. More likely I’d kill, but probably not with a gun.

My preferred fantasy revenge method is drowning. As in, kittens, burlap sack, rope, rocks and a murky, swift moving river. Or, asshole dude, burlap sack, cement, cabin cruiser and the deep dark ocean. The beauty of my method is the potential for variety.

And you?

Bee’s Knees

Me: I’m not sure about this dress. It seems a little…

Salesgirl: It’s your knees, isn’t it?

Me: What?

Salesgirl: The dress, it’s short enough to show your knees. All of the other skirts you like are knee-length.

Me: You’re RIGHT.

Peds

Her: “That guy just checked you out.”
Me: “Doubt it. Besides, don’t you think he’s gay?”
Her: (assesses him, wrinkles nose) “He’s wearing peds.”
Me: “Peds?”
Her: “Short socks.”
Me: “Done.”