Your Killin’ Style

I was chatting with our friend Cheap Girl, and the topic of Colleen came up.

Cheap Girl: I’d take a bullet for her
Me: And she would shoot someone for you

Which got me to thinking. Would I take a bullet for anyone? Maybe. More likely I’d kill, but probably not with a gun.

My preferred fantasy revenge method is drowning. As in, kittens, burlap sack, rope, rocks and a murky, swift moving river. Or, asshole dude, burlap sack, cement, cabin cruiser and the deep dark ocean. The beauty of my method is the potential for variety.

And you?

"I’ve never wanted anything I couldn’t have."

For the first official wishbone clover interview, we speak with Matthew, who used to be a buyer for our favorite San Francisco emporium of weird, Paxton Gate. When I first interviewed for a job with Knickerbocker, I was unconvinced that corporate life was for me. When I walked into Cat’s dimly-lit office, spied her green nailpolish, and chatted about stationery and monkey skulls, I thought I’d fit right in.

Matthew: Is this the interview now?

Me: Yes.

Matthew: Would you like water or cheap beer that isn’t refrigerated?

Me: Beer. How did you get a job with Paxton Gate?

Matthew: I was living down in Humboldt, a friend came back from visiting San Francisco and said, “I found this place in San Francisco that looks just like your bedroom. It’s called Something Gate.” I was working for a place in Humboldt called Something Gate, so I didn’t think much of it. Then I was traveling through Uruguay and decided to move to San Francisco. On Tribe, I found a job at Paxton Gate listed under the “bizarre” category. I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get it, but they were intelligent hoops.

Me: How long did you work there?

Matthew: 10 months. Hey! I found my fortune! (He pulls out a Mason jar filled with slips of paper from fortune cookies.) In the end, I wanted a life outside of work.

Me: What’s the weirdest thing you were ever offered?

Matthew: A film reel of a monkey being tortured. I purchased a still, but I had to get rid of it. I couldn’t stand to look at it.

Me: Do you shop there now?

Matthew: No, I’ve always had an affinity for finding odd things on my own. Which is probably why I worked there. We really got into taxidermy when a retired captain of industry offered us his collection. He had a warehouse of trophies from his safaris.

Me: What’s the one thing you wouldn’t sell, no matter how much someone offered you?

Matthew: My art. Any of it. That’s a heart in a vial. Vertebrae. A preserved duck heart. Some wings.

Mater Dolorosa

As you may have picked up by now, here at wishbone clover we love the odd, the dark, the misunderstood. That’s right: we’re Catholic.

Rituals are a-ok by us, and we always check out cemeteries when we visit foreign cities. Cat even went to the Capuchin Crypt on a recent visit to Italy. Jealous.

Finalizing your designs for the sweet hereafter? Check out this neat collection of vintage memorial cards at Genealogy Today. Myself, I’m partial to the “Mrs. Herbert S. Case” look.